Role play is a fun way to add heat to your sex life, but some people feel intimidated by the idea, especially if they don’t have a background in theater. But role play can be fun for anyone! Here’s how to get started without the awkward moments.
Start with Clear Communication
All good sex starts with partners who know the wants of the other(s), and the only way to make that situation a reality is by telling your partner(s) what you want. Merely going along with what they want won’t be very erotic for you, so it’s time to get vocal! However, this means sharing your fantasies.
Talking about fantasies is something that many couples feel nervous about, but it’s typically good for your relationship. It helps you bond and better understand what gets the other person going. Plan a time when you have some privacy to talk explicitly about what arouses you, and then find some common ground to create a role-play scene together. It’s an intimate activity, so hype yourself up and get ready to be vulnerable.
The conversation should include your boundaries. What things do you want to avoid because they may trigger your jealousy or put the brakes on your arousal? Talk in depth about what’s okay and what you’re not interested in before getting started so that you don’t end up accidentally hurting each other.
Dip Your Toes In
The very first roleplay doesn’t have to be an ordeal worthy of Broadway. You can begin slowly until you get more comfortable with the idea. You can even start with texting, emailing, or talking on the phone with your partner in your role so that they aren’t looking you in the eye. Then, when you feel comfortable, try the role play face-to-face.
It’s essential to remember that life doesn’t reflect porn. Everything won’t go perfectly, and you’re bound to have some unexpected moments. But that’s part of the fun! Keep things lighthearted and laugh when something strange happens—that way, it will be memorable rather than embarrassing.
Leave Your Judgment Behind
Role play is for experimenting and exploring your sexuality; it’s not for judging your fantasies based on their moral decency. You may engage in role play that doesn’t exactly correlate with your values, and that’s perfectly normal. The taboo nature is often what makes the experience so sexy. Role playing is separate from what happens in real life, and you don’t have to agonize over whether what you’re doing is right as long as you’re doing it with a willing partner. Give yourself permission to enjoy yourself guilt-free!
Accessing Your Playful Side
Taking the pressure off can help prevent embarrassment or shyness, so it’s essential to harness a lighthearted, good-natured mood before getting started with role play. Doing something calming before getting started, like having a hot bath or meditating, can help you relax and have fun.
If you find it helpful, you can find scripts for role play online so that you don’t have to improv your way through a scene the first time. Costumes can also help you get in the mood but don’t do something too complex your first time. Pick a simple idea for role play so that you can focus on staying in the moment.
For more ideas on how to spice up your relationship, check out my video below:
Want More Tips?
Contact me for a free consultation today.
Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.