Low libido can strike people of any gender and any age. But you don’t have to suffer with it. Below are some ideas about why low libido happens and what you can do about it.
Where Low Desire Starts in Your Body
Sometimes your body is the reason that you don’t feel turned on. Women, especially, can become too tired for sex when they’re trying to get too much done. In some cases, the answer to a low sex drive is one good night of sleep—or three.
Depression, anxiety, and body image can also interfere with whether or not you’re in the mood. Lingering mental health issues can take the focus off pleasure and put it on your anxiety or low mood, and it’s not something you can tough your way through. Getting professional help to work through these issues can make all the difference in your sex life.
Hormone imbalance is another reason that you might be experiencing low libido. At some point in your life, you’ll experience hormonal imbalance. The most universal experience for people with vulvas who experience this is menopause, when estrogen production slows and your body and mind go through changes. These changes are important to mention to your doctor because many side effects can be managed medically and can help you get your groove back.
Further, depending on your medical history, you may be able to try certain FDA-approved drugs that help your body return to its old levels of libido. Injections and pills are available, but they each come with certain risks and downsides, so weigh both carefully before deciding. Further, if the problem isn’t physiological, it likely won’t be solved by a pill.
Good Sex Through the Years
Many people believe that losing your libido is an inevitable part of getting older. Fortunately, this doesn’t have to be the case. However, this assumption is pernicious, and it can make you feel abnormal if you have a healthy sex drive well into your older years, or it can cause you to question your sex drive when it snaps into action. So, it’s a good idea to take the notion that sex drive disappears after menopause with a giant grain of salt.
On the other hand, you can expect your sex drive to ebb and flow as you age. That makes it all the more important to capitalize on the moments when you and your partner are both in the mood! Keeping sex on your brain (rather than putting it on the backburner) can help you notice when you’re feeling turned on and take advantage of it.
Aging on its own doesn’t necessarily indicate an inevitable decrease in desire. Sometimes, your sexual desire may not be low, but the issue might be that it doesn’t match your partner’s drive. Other issues that impact your sex life may include medical issues and medications, relationship problems, changing body image, and more. Even the idea that older women-identifying people shouldn’t be sexual can add a level of stigma that makes it hard to get in the mood. But sex is good for you, no matter how old you are, and making it a priority is essential for your physical and mental health.
Talking to Your Partner
Communication is the most crucial piece of maintaining a healthy relationship, regardless of the status of your sexual desire. If you experience a dip in your libido, mention it to your partner. If you don’t talk about it, they will likely notice anyway, and they may think the worst: that you’re having an affair or no longer find them attractive. Tackling this issue as a team can help you come out stronger.
More Tips for Increasing Desire
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Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.