Men who have trouble maintaining erections have likely heard about the option of taking medication to help with the problem—but meds only help in certain scenarios. Know that, if you’re wondering whether or not you have erectile dysfunction, you’re not alone. Finding out which treatment is right for you can help you discover a lasting solution, rather than utilizing a shortcut only to have the condition worsen later on. When men don’t feel as aroused as they would like to, the underlying factors can be emotional or they can be biological. Let’s take a look at the solutions available to men who would like to enhance their sexual arousal.
Common Causes of Decreased Sexual Function in Men
Though only a doctor can give you a precise diagnosis, some health factors put you at a higher risk of ED. Those health factors include diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, prostate cancer, smoking, and taking certain medications. If medication is causing you to have trouble getting an erection, you can’t simply stop taking it. However, you may be able to switch to a prescription that doesn’t impact you so acutely.
The number one cause of erectile dysfunction is performance anxiety, which many people will try to deaden with alcohol or another relaxing substance. Unfortunately, this is not effective because alcohol can impair your ability to maintain an erection, reach orgasm, or even delay orgasm, depending on your situation. Any substance that reduces your ability to be mindful will exacerbate mental difficulties in the bedroom. Though many people drink alcohol to reduce anxiety, using a mind-altering substance can render you vulnerable to the least healthy places that your mind wanders.
If your situation does not involve performance anxiety, other psychological factors can come into play including too little physical stimulation or underlying relational problems. Childhood dynamics also factor in, such as physical or sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and other traumatizing events that cause people’s brains to short circuit when they would prefer to focus on sex. People in the LGBTQ+ community may find their arousal is influenced or decreased by specific stressors such as whether or not to come out to their families. Even religion can cause a sexual breakdown under certain circumstances. If you were affected by these factors, you likely need therapy in order to reach full sexual expression and pleasure. The good news is that, although therapy is sometimes a long-term process, you can achieve excellent, enduring results.
What About Meds?
PDE5 inhibitors like Viagra and Cialis are often the first line of defense against arousal problems. For men with specific medical issues, PDE5 inhibitors are very effective. But if psychological factors are involved, PDE5 inhibitors are often a shortcut to an immediate erection, but they won’t solve the underlying issues.
Worse yet, taking these pills can sustain myths like the idea that an erection is necessary for satisfying sex. Experiencing erectile dysfunction could instead be the perfect chance for an individual or a couple to open their minds and try new things in bed. Changing up a long-held routine is much more unifying and rewarding than taking a pill to stave off therapy.
Lastly, if performance anxiety is a trigger for sexual dysfunction, men can form a dependence on the pills, which will only worsen if they try to have an un-medicated erection. In the long run, if taken for the wrong reasons, medication can have a harmful effect on male sexual function.
If meds are the right choice for your situation, make sure to mention this to your partner. Bringing it up is vital because if your partner discovers the Viagra on their own, it can feel like a betrayal. Discuss your ED symptoms with your partner so that they don’t internalize the situation and spiral into feeling less desirable. Research has shown that an important component for female arousal is feeling wanted by their partner, and a misunderstanding of how the arousal pills work can, in turn, lessen the partner’s arousal when they feel less desired. Open communication is key for sexual satisfaction for both partners.
If you’re having trouble sexually, working with a therapist can help. Therapists that specialize in sexual function can help you reduce performance anxiety and give you tips on pleasing your partner, with or without an erection. Or, if you’re in a relationship, going to couples’ therapy can help you tackle this as a team and guide your journey toward sexual fulfillment.
Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to download the 101 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot checklist. Download her new ebook, How to Increase Your Libido – For Women, here.