When it comes to sex skills, there’s always room for improvement. If you’re as eager to blow your partner’s mind as you are their genitals, try the tips below to give them the ultimate blow job.
Get Comfortable
Sometimes, what ruins oral sex is that the receiver can’t get comfortable. Maybe they spend the whole time worrying that their partner doesn’t want to give them oral pleasure, about how their genitals look, or whether their partner is comfortable. If you are the receiver, focus on what feels good, and then lather on the praise. Don’t worry about whether you’ll orgasm or any aspect of performance, and try to stay present. If you are the giver, verbalize how much you’re enjoying giving them pleasure to reassure them.
But getting comfortable is more than just relaxing—it’s about being comfortable in your body. Consuming media where the people look perfectly airbrushed and fit a certain body type can make you feel anxiety about how your body looks, feels, tastes, or smells during sex. But sex isn’t a performance; it’s a collaboration. Don’t forget that staying in the moment and enjoying your body and your partner’s presence is the whole point.
Tune Up Your 69
The perfect position can make a world of difference during sex. The easiest way to make this notorious sex position more sustainable if you’re in it for a while is to flip it. Get in 69 on your side, so both partners are in a spooning position but facing each other and flipped. Keep pillows and blankets around in case you get cold or need some extra neck support.
Be Flexible
Mental flexibility is a crucial component of being memorable in bed. If you have a technique that has worked on partners in the past, it may not be your new partner’s cup of tea. The same goes for receiving oral sex. If you typically like a deep throat feel, but your partner has an excitable gag reflex, you’ll both have to try some new methods. Discovering new alternatives that you haven’t explored before can be sexy, and it’s a helpful reminder that there’s always more we can learn about ourselves, our partners, and our pleasure.
Mental flexibility includes keeping an open mind when your partner gives you feedback. It’s not your fault if you aren’t in the exact right spot—you’re not a mind reader. But if you’re an enthusiastic learner and you and your partner communicate openly, mind-blowing orgasms are just around the corner.
If your partner goes soft during your blow job, don’t panic. Instead, watch this video on why that might be happening, take a breather, and get back to it:
Slow Your Roll
Like any kind of sex, oral sex is better when you take your time. Tease your partner rather than diving right in. Touch their genitals with your hand first, if they’re into that. Ease into oral pleasure and check in with your partner to ensure their comfort before ramping up your activity. Getting consent is the perfect time to show off your dirty talk skills, so ask early and often.
Ask about your pace, too. Even if it feels slow to you, your partner may feel like you’re going too fast. Take a break to kiss, massage, and tease before returning to the main event. Give some love to their other erogenous zones, like their thighs or lower abdomen. Homing in on their most sensitive areas too soon can be painful. Work up their anticipation before getting too hot and heavy with your mouth.
More Is More
Sometimes, more sensation is better. During oral sex, you don’t have to only use your mouth. Put those hands to work and finger your partner if they’re interested, stimulate their nipples, or add a gripping stroke to your oral routine.
While you’re at it, leave no stone unturned. Ask what would help them enjoy this blow job more. Talk about what you know you like and what you know you don’t like. Your sex life is a journey, and it only becomes boring if you decide to stay in the same place. It’s never too late to find out something new that your partner likes or that you enjoy.
Ready for More?
Contact me for a free consultation to continue leveling up your sex skills.