Testosterone has a significant impact on sexual arousal, no matter what gender you are. If you have low testosterone levels, this can present challenges in the bedroom.
What Happens Sexually as You Age
As we get older, our hormone production levels dip. People of any gender will not make as much testosterone, progesterone, or estrogen. Depending on their patients’ health histories, doctors sometimes prescribe hormone replacement therapies to help mitigate symptoms of menopause or other conditions. If one partner is taking a testosterone replacement supplement, this can cause differing levels of desire and sexual challenges. Conversely, people who don’t take hormone supplements may see lower arousal levels than they have in a while. Fortunately, these predicaments aren’t necessarily permanent, and they don’t mean your sex drive has an expiration date.
How to Increase Testosterone Levels
Differences in arousal levels can come from both psychological and physiological sources. So, if your sexual appetite has changed noticeably, it’s worth going to a urologist or a gynecologist for a checkup to ensure underlying health factors aren’t playing a role.
Keep in mind that replacing testosterone is not a good idea for people who have prostate cancer, which can worsen the condition. People with enlarged prostates also may not want to try hormone replacement therapy. And, the older you are, the harder it is to come off of testosterone.
Diet and exercise may be enough to help some people increase their testosterone production, but it won’t work for everyone. But, if you go the natural route, make sure the exercise you engage in is vigorous rather than moderate. Going on very long bike rides can compress nerves and reduce blood flow to the penis, so other forms of exercise might be preferable for people with penises. Reducing your alcohol intake may also help. Other healthy lifestyle changes like stopping smoking and maintaining a healthy weight can help rejuvenate your arousal.
When Viagra Doesn’t Work
Some people believe that Viagra and other erection-enhancing drugs are silver bullet cures for sexual dysfunction. But, unfortunately, this isn’t the case. If someone has developed sexual performance anxiety, they may still be too stressed out to perform, even with erectile dysfunction medication. Sometimes, nitric oxide boosters may help increase the efficacy of the prescription. Other times, you may need to address psychological factors before your sexual arousal levels improve.
There are evolutionary reasons behind why anxiety is an arousal killer. For one, anxiety works to help focus your stress on the danger at hand. In earlier human times, this was necessary for survival so that you weren’t distracted by sexual thoughts when, say, a bear was going to maul you. However, now anxiety is more nuanced and can surface at inopportune times—like right before you want to have sex. Essentially, the hormones that allow you to access your fight-or-flight modes directly compete with the hormones that enable you to relax and connect with your partner sexually. They don’t work together because we didn’t evolve to be able to do both at once. Finding a calming mental space to have sex is incredibly important, especially for people who have experienced a drop in arousal.
Regulating Anxiety Can Help Boost Your Desire
Learning to regulate your anxiety can completely revolutionize your sex life. Slowing down with tantric or sensate touch practices can help you focus on enjoying your partner, and they also take the pressure off of erection and performance.
If you’d like help tackling low desire, reach out for a free consultation with me. I have helped many couples overcome their arousal issues, and I can help you, too.
Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to download the 101 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot checklist. Download her new ebook, How to Increase Your Libido – For Women, here.