The new coronavirus that causes COVID-19 has swept around the world, closing down entire countries, overwhelming health care systems, and making its way into our bedrooms. Feeling lonely and a bit depressed during this isolating, frightening time is normal. Sex is a stress reliever, though, and now, more than ever, people could probably use something erotic to take their minds off of this harrowing pandemic. So, to this end, I’ve compiled some safe sex tips so that you can exercise control and caution while not having to abstain completely.
Staying Safe Sexually During Coronavirus
Yes, you can pick up coronavirus during most types of sex because you and your sex partner will often be within six feet of each other while being intimate. COVID-19 is transferred by the germs in the droplets that come from our nose and mouth; however, there hasn’t been enough research done to know for sure if it’s transferred by purely sexual activity. What we do know right now is that the safest thing to do is to maintain distance from anyone who doesn’t live in your home. Fortunately, this doesn’t mean your sex life has to be in quarantine, too. You can have sex while self-isolating.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, you can weigh the risks of having sex with your partner and the chance that you may pick up COVID-19 from having sex with them. In more casual relationships, this is probably a risk you don’t want to take. However, you can try having sex virtually, perhaps over Skype or FaceTime. Give your partner a show by giving them a striptease or masturbating while they watch. Try sexting, if you haven’t yet. These are safe activities that will keep you in the mood and out of harm’s way.
Keeping Your Spirits Up
Since isolation can lead you into dark moods or maybe even moods you aren’t familiar with, now is a great time to practice self-regulation. Anxiety about the coronavirus mortality, stock market plummet, perhaps layoffs, or family members who are taking risks can lead to diminished sexual desire. This anxiety can show up as a new inability to become aroused or to climax. There’s a lot to think about right now, and if you find yourself unable to concentrate during sex, take comfort in the fact that this is a very normal experience.
Managing your mood during a global crisis such as this is very empowering. Keep in mind that regulating your attitude doesn’t mean tamping down your emotions, but instead finding beneficial ways to express them. This skill can help your relationship stay healthy, too. If you’re having trouble regulating your emotions, the essential first step is to turn off the news. Maybe you can handle a bit of coronavirus news each day, but set a time limit or pick one column and then stop. If you use social media, limit this as well, as the line between news and social media is a bit blurred.
Next, start a self-care routine if you don’t already have one. Try a virtual workout or another resource that helps boost your mood. If you’ve never incorporated meditation into your routine, try a free app that will help you get started. Try daily meditation and notice the effects that it has on your mood. Also, maintain some activities that you do separately from your partner, as this can prevent you from driving each other up the wall.
Good Sex During the Pandemic
It might seem counterintuitive, but now is the perfect time to take active steps toward improving your sex life with your partner. Use the extra time you save from commuting (though, parents may feel like they have less time than ever if their school-age children are at home with them), from going out with your friends, and other distractions that we’re not currently permitted to do, to spend extra time having sex with your partner if you have one. Now is the time to get out the lingerie you’ve been putting off wearing, try the positions you’ve never tried, or spend a few hours doing role-play.
Try mindful touching, or sensate focus, if you never have before. Sensate focus is an excellent way to get to know your partner’s body—primarily the parts that aren’t always categorized as sensual—without the goal of orgasm. Discovering new types of touch or areas of the body that feel good to them can be erotic for both of you. Or, try orgasmic breathing, which is a component of tantric sex.
Masturbate Mindfully
If you don’t have a partner, now is the perfect time to try edging. Edging is not only highly erotic, but it’s also a great way to gain better control over when you orgasm. To edge, begin touching yourself slowly and mindfully, but stop when you start to get close to climaxing. Each time you begin stimulating yourself, try to go a bit longer before cutting yourself off. The extra tension that you build can lead to a better orgasm in the end.
While quarantined inside your home, use the time you spend masturbating to learn something new about yourself. If you’re a woman who has never experienced G-spot pleasure, research some tips and tools, and begin exploring. Perhaps you’re a man who has never experimented with the P-spot; now is the time! Or, try reading a different type of erotica, incorporating new fantasies, or trying a webcam if you never have.
If you’re feeling alone during this uncertain time, feel free to reach out to me for a video session. I can give you personalized tips for getting through the pandemic with your mental health better than ever.
Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to download the 101 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot checklist. Download her new ebook, How to Increase Your Libido – For Women, here.