The seasons have changed from summer to fall, and people are swapping out their flip-flops for boots and their tank tops for sweaters. The atmospheric temper is changing, and it’s the perfect time for the mood in your bedroom to change as well. As the Halloween season approaches, it’s an excellent idea to usher in some new activities that can spice up your sex life. Here’s how you can add a sprinkle of spooky to your sex life this fall.
As It Gets Cooler Outside, Turn Up the Heat Inside
Temperature play is fun year-round, but it can be especially sexy in the fall. Temperature play is a way to immerse your senses so that sex feels almost hypnotic—just like it did in the beginning—because it engages your brain. However, safe temperature play takes a little bit of forethought. You’ll want to have ice cubes or a freezer-safe sex toy, which is typically made of stainless steel, glass, nickel, or occasionally a silicone blend (you’ll want at least one end to be a different material because silicone doesn’t get very cool). These materials are often heat-safe, too, but check the instruction manual to ensure this is the case. Find a Halloween-themed toy for extra fun! And consider investing in a massage-safe candle that burns at a lower temperature so as not to scald your partner’s skin.
Then, before you get intimate, pop the sex toy into the freezer for a few minutes or into some hot water (if it is waterproof!) to get it to the desired temperature. Start with a milder temperature than you think is necessary, especially since the skin on delicate areas is far more sensitive to temperature. Don’t forget to use lube!
For an ultra-sexy massage, drip the candle wax (if using), starting with less sensitive spots like the hands, the exterior of arms, back, and legs and then moving to the more sensitive ones like the insides of the wrist, inner thigh, and even bottoms of the feet. If you notice that their fists are clenched, the temperature is too intense.
Lastly, take notes! Which sensations turned your partner on? Were there any that they didn’t like? This information is excellent to have for your next temperature play night. And, next time, you can set the candle out on your nightstand to signal that you’re ready for some fun. It beats saying, “I’m very much in the mood for some sexual intercourse,” for the hundredth time.
Wear Your Costumes to Bed
Your Halloween costume’s functionality doesn’t have to end after the Halloween party. Put it on and give roleplay a try! Yes, Halloween was made for roleplay. Costumes are on sale, and everyone’s accessing their alter egos, even if just for the evening. Bring some of that energy into the bedroom and see how it turns your sex dynamic upside down. It’s the perfect time to find the intersection between things you think are scary and things that turn you on.
To move from putting on a costume to using it for sex roleplay, you’re going to have to get creative. Think about what the character you are embodying might say or feel or how they would move in the bedroom. Do your best to emulate it, but don’t worry if you feel awkward or stilted at first. Keep your sense of humor ready, and don’t take yourself too seriously. But do feel free to try something brand new, like dominating your partner! For more info on how to get into BDSM, watch my video below:
Don’t have a costume? Have your partner paint one on you. Bonus points for finding edible paints so that your partner can lick it off later. Plus, sparking your creativity can heighten sex since you’ll be way more attuned to the activity at hand.
Find a Change of Scenery
Having sex in the same place all the time can get boring. To add a bit of adrenaline to your Halloween season, have sex somewhere new. Yes, the kitchen counter counts, but you could be even more daring by going into your backyard (if you have one!). Do your best to find a private area so that no one is likely to see, but the element of “we’re-doing-something-naughty” is unquestionably going to make the sex hotter.
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Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to sign up for her live workshop, 7 Tactics for Achieving Optimal Performance Without Medication.