An orgasm feels amazing, sometimes mythic in proportion. So, it’s no wonder tech companies have pursued ways to make it even better. Scientifically, you can describe the pleasure as an involuntary pelvic floor contraction, but emotionally, an orgasm means so much more. It can be a revelation, a relief, or a celebration of intimacy. The pleasure during an orgasm is incredible; the relaxation afterward is unparalleled. Here’s how to reach your orgasmic goals, whether that’s to have your first one, your best one, or many in a row.
Defining a Good Orgasm
Having a better orgasm is a subjective experience because our sex lives are subjective experiences, so defining what makes your orgasm better is up to you. One person may want the pleasurable contractions to be more forceful; another person may wish the pleasure would last longer from start to finish. Still others may want to have multiple orgasms in rapid succession. Setting a goal for how to improve your orgasm can be helpful, but be open to other objectives in case one option isn’t available to you.
Check Yourself
Some factors that contribute to or detract from having an intense orgasm have to do with your lifestyle. Alcohol may make you less inhibited, but it can also make orgasms harder to achieve and lessen their pleasure due to its numbing effects. Cannabis, on the other hand, may help your orgasms improve. Some people report longer and more intense orgasms. Cannabis’ pain-relieving side effects can help mitigate pain during sex and help you get into a relaxed mood. For some people, the clarity of sobriety makes orgasms as intense as possible.
Sexual Fitness
Pleasure and wellness are connected inside and outside of the bedroom, so it makes sense that creating a pleasure ritual is a beneficial first step toward a stronger orgasm. Setting aside time to take care of your body and mental health can build a relationship with yourself that acknowledges that you deserve pleasure, making orgasms easier to attain.
You can have sexual pleasure and connection without orgasm, of course. But wanting to have an orgasm is natural. Yet, people with vulvas are often told that their sexual desire and fulfillment are secondary to pleasing their partners. If you want an orgasm, making it a goal is a good start. It can be a highlight, an ultimate benefit of your sex life, and if you want to have one, you deserve to have one. Pleasure shouldn’t be a luxury—it should be an everyday, ordinary experience in your sex life.
Orgasms are directly connected to the health of your pelvic floor, so think of it as beginning a sexual workout. The fitness you gain can make your orgasms stronger into your 50s and beyond. Your doctor may have tips about strengthening your pelvic floor, or you could incorporate Kegels into your workout to keep things simple.
Next, starting a self-pleasuring routine is crucial. To explore this more in-depth, my video simplifies the steps it takes to be successful:
The Edge of Pleasure
Edging is clutch, too. It’s a time-tested way to reach new heights of sexual pleasure and well worth the effort for those who haven’t tried it before. Edging is the practice of delaying your orgasm, whether during masturbation or partnered sex. It is the process of getting as close as possible to orgasm without crossing the threshold. Next, you wait a moment until the urge to climax abates and then start over again. The practice of delayed orgasms is ancient, and it can help people who deal with premature ejaculation, too.
The more anticipation you build during edging, the more chance you have that your orgasm will be as strong as ever. As it turns out, sex is a little bit like cooking: if you take the time to make it from scratch, it comes out better. Fast food and fast sex are convenient but not always the most satisfying. Resisting the urge to rush through pleasure is an excellent perspective shift, too. Some things shouldn’t be optimized. It reframes your sex life as something worth time and effort, and this outlook can set you up to have hot sex for life.
Other Paths
Fun fact: anal orgasms can be much more intense than vaginal orgasms simply because the sphincter muscles are stronger. If you’re disappointed with your other pathways to orgasm, anal pleasure is an excellent way to learn more about your body and experience a different type of orgasm. Don’t forget to explore the prostate if you have one.
Consult a Specialist
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