Whether you have a prostate or love someone who does, knowing how to find and pleasure the prostate (P spot) is an essential sexual skill to have in your toolkit. Below are some tips to help you start.
What the Prostate Is and How to Find It
The prostate is a gland inside the anus on people with penises. The prostate helps produce fluids that the urethra carries out of the body. It is covered in nerves, so it is very sensitive to pleasure.
You don’t have to use insertion to begin stimulating the prostate. In fact, you can start by touching the perineum, which will stimulate the prostate as well. To feel the prostate internally, insert a finger about two inches and rub gently forward.
Homophobia and Prostate Pleasure
Misinformation about trying butt stuff and anal pleasure abounds. Many people used to think that if a man enjoyed prostate pleasure, it meant he was gay, and the fear and avoidance of exploring anally is evidence of homophobia. However, the only thing that makes a man gay is an attraction to other men—no amount of experimenting with anal toys, analingus, or even penetration will change that.
Prostate Pleasure Pointers
When venturing through the back door, you don’t want to go too quickly. You want to spend time externally before rushing to penetration. The anus is brimming with nerve endings, so take your time gently touching there. Your body will naturally relax, making penetration easier later on if you choose to go further. Preparation is crucial, and you must ensure your body is ready.
Next, it’s key to be turned on before you get started. The more turned on you are, the more easily you can explore and learn about the parts of your butt that feel good. Getting your partner in the mood will help make everything go more smoothly.
Analingus is an excellent way to arouse your partner’s behind. It can help them relax and open up to delicious new sensations. If you’re trying butt stuff on your own, you might want to enlist the help of a sex toy. A vibrator can be held externally for foreplay and eventually inserted when the time is right. Fingering and massage are other great ways to stimulate this erogenous zone.
The Pegging Process
Anal sex should never feel painful, so you should always start slowly before pegging someone. Begin with a lubed finger gently inserted once your partner is fully aroused. If they are ready for more, you can try two fingers. However, they may not be ready to be pegged the first night. It may take weeks or even months before they are prepared for full penetration.
Training the anus is fun, and you could consider buying butt plugs geared toward anal training to help you naturally go through the process. They size up gradually so you are ready for bigger things. Alternatively, you could try butt plugs that size up slowly.
Next, encourage your partner to take deep breaths. This can help them relax, which will make pegging more comfortable. Take breaks if needed and engage in other activities that will keep your partner turned on. Check in with them frequently to find out if everything feels good and if they are enjoying it. Encourage them to give compassionate feedback so that you can improve your technique without feeling criticized. For more tips on giving compassionate feedback, check out my video below:
Lastly, try different positions to find the path of least resistance including lying on their back, spooning, or lying on their stomach, especially when first starting.
Take Pegging to the Next Level
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Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.