Curious about learning to squirt? Find out everything you ever wanted to know to get started experimenting below.
What Squirting Is
Squirting happens when the urethra releases fluid, so it appears that the vulva is ejaculating. Some of the fluid originates from the Skene’s glands, and it can be accompanied by a pleasurable sensation or a sense of relief. It’s an involuntary reaction—it’s not something you can force. And it’s a fun sexual skill you or your partner could learn if you’re both interested!
For more info on important skills to have in a healthy relationship, check out my video below:
What Squirting Isn’t
It’s essential to keep in mind that vulvas and penises are very different, even though both have the potential for ejaculation. Vulvas don’t always have orgasms during ejaculation. Even though penises can sometimes experience dry orgasms, it’s much more common for vulvas to squirt without a climax. The idea that squirting means your partner had an orgasm just isn’t accurate, though it’s a commonly held myth. It can be misleading, though, since ejaculation is so interconnected with penile orgasms.
Some people also believe that squirting is the pinnacle of sexuality—something that you are missing out on if you can’t do it. However, while it can be pleasurable, it’s not a necessity. No sexual activity is! If you’re interested in trying it, squirting can be fun. But if you’re not, your sex life can still be hot.
If your partner isn’t squirting, they may still be experiencing mind-blowing orgasms and sexual pleasure with you. The idea that people with vulvas should experience this kind of orgasm places more confines around sexuality rather than freeing them up to experiment as they please. Plus, the pressure you put on them only makes it less likely that they’ll be able to do it because learning a new type of orgasm takes an incredible sense of relaxation to accomplish.
Tips for Learning to Squirt
Many people with vulvas wonder if they could have a squirting orgasm or if it’s one of those camera tricks that looks possible in porn but is otherwise utterly unattainable. The truth is that if you have a vulva, you can probably have a squirting orgasm!
First, you need plenty of time to get your body ready. People learning to squirt will want to allow at least half an hour to get fully turned on and stimulated. Any less than that, and it’s very unrealistic to expect that you could squirt.
Next, you’ll want to stimulate the G spot. The G spot responds well to pressure, so it responds to touch differently than the clitoris. Fingers work exceptionally well for this since you can pinpoint the exact spot that your partner likes. Plus, they are flexible enough to try different motions until you learn what your partner needs to squirt. Erections may work for some people to squirt, but they aren’t as good at pinpointed pressure or making specific motions.
To find your G spot, feel around with a clean, lubed finger inside your vulva. The location of the G spot varies from person to person, but it’s usually somewhere between 1-3 inches inside the vaginal canal. It will feel spongy or perhaps a little bit like a hard nub when the person is aroused.
The mental barriers are usually the most difficult to work through when learning to squirt. For many, the experience of squirting can feel uncomfortably like peeing. And, since the liquid comes from the urethra, it may contain a small amount of urine. It’s common for your mind to prevent the release since it is used to unconsciously holding your urine. Letting go and squirting anyway means you need an overwhelming feeling of relaxation to attempt it.
Since it can be difficult to let go enough to have a squirting orgasm, you may want to experiment by yourself first. That will reduce the pressure you feel and give you a chance to take your time. If your fingers aren’t quite doing the job, try a sex toy. Many are geared toward squirting and can help you to understand which types of stimulation you like.
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Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.