A significant portion of the population is diabetic, and for many, this diagnosis feels like the death knell for their sex life. Happily, you can get back to a satisfying sex life even when you have diabetes. Below are some tips on how to do just that.
What Happens to Your Sex Life When You’re Diabetic
People with diabetes often don’t have the energy to have sex due to their blood sugar issues. Women with diabetes may not have enough vaginal lubrication. Plus, diabetes is a diagnosis that carries with it a lot of shame. People often believe diabetes is the result of overeating or having an unhealthy lifestyle, and so diabetics are often blamed for their diagnosis, which can affect self-esteem and have secondhand implications for sexual health. Diabetes can also present as low sex drive in men, which can, in turn, make their partners feel undesirable.
One problem is a lack of education—and not just on the patient’s side. Many doctors are so busy dealing with the health effects of this diagnosis that they don’t have the education or time to discuss the sexual implications. Patients who have questions may feel too intimidated to ask, so, unfortunately, many people are left without the necessary information to find sexual fulfillment after their diagnosis.
Couples therapy is especially helpful for couples dealing with a diabetes diagnosis. Partners may blame each other for their sex life (or lack thereof!) when the disease is indisputably the cause. Externalizing the problem can help motivate couples to be on the same team and tackle the issue together.
Tips for Having Better Sex with Diabetes
Being prepared can often ease your—and your partner’s—anxiety about the condition. Having a snack before getting intimate can help prevent low blood sugar during sex. Another helpful tip is to take the pressure off and involve a sense of carefree play during sex. Instead of building up each encounter with expectations and hope, schedule in hours of play that don’t necessarily include penetrative sex, but may center on oral sex or even naked cuddling. Broadening your sense of a successful sensual encounter can help you more easily reach this goal, and once the pressure is off, you can try other activities again.
Making friends with people who have similar diagnoses is essential, too. Everyone is different, so a different combination of treatments will work for different people. When you establish friendships with those who are in the same boat as you are, they can offer tips that you may have otherwise overlooked.
To Rx or Not to Rx
For men with diabetes, prescriptions like Viagra or Cialis can sometimes help. Penis sleeves or penis implants, for instance, are safe and can help you get back to your sexual self. However, this isn’t true in all cases. If there are underlying mental health issues, the pills can be less effective. Or, other factors may prevent people with diabetes from seeing results, too. It’s important that you continue to seek solutions because so many options are available.
If you have diabetes or another chronic illness, consider reaching out to a sex therapist to find science-backed tips tailored to your individual situation that can increase your sexual satisfaction.
Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to download the 101 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Hot checklist.