ASMR’s ability to relax and mesmerize has taken the world by storm. ASMR doesn’t just make your mind tingle—it can make your whole body feel peaceful or invigorated. Focusing on the auditory portion of sex can make it more memorable for everyone involved, even if you’re not typically into ASMR. If you’ve wondered about the sexual potential behind ASMR, below are some tips for using it in the bedroom.
ASMR: The Basics
For those who are unfamiliar, ASMR stands for autonomous sensory meridian response. More plainly, it’s a feeling you get when you hear certain sounds, and not everybody has it. Many people describe it as a tickly, tingly sensation that starts at the top of your head and goes down to your backbone. Those who experience it often describe it as pleasurable or exhilarating. It’s also quite relaxing, so many people listen to ASMR to help them drift off to sleep.
ASMR makes a great addition to your sex life because it prioritizes your sense of hearing, which doesn’t always take center stage. It can also help you stop thinking so much about how your sex looks and help you emphasize how your sex sounds and feels. It may even remove some of the pressure you feel to have a body that looks a certain way or the size of your penis.
For a deeper dive into penis size, check out my YouTube video below:
ASMR Sounds to Try
How do you give someone the tingles? Whispering is often the best way to start. And if you want to take ASMR in an adult direction, what you whisper matters. Consider telling your partner your fantasies in the quietest voice possible. If your partner is turned on by ASMR, asking for consent and dirty talking in a whisper voice can make communicating about sex even hotter.
ASMR goes beyond just whispering, though. You can use other sounds to get your partner excited by tapping your nails on a sex toy or even unwrapping a sex toy, or try blowing on their scalp or using a vibrator near their ears. You may want to turn on some ASMR porn while you’re having sex to see which sounds titillate you the most and which will be easiest to replicate. Even while you are touching your partner, the focus will be on the sounds made by your touch, not the touch itself. Treat this as a learning experiment, and get creative with the sounds you use. You’ll have to do some trial and error to see which sounds are working and which are ineffective.
Getting Vocal
You should ask your partner what ASMR does for them since the experience varies from person to person. If they find it relaxing, it might help them get out of their head and feel more mindful and at ease before sex. This can help them climax more easily or be adventurous since they will be releasing anxiety before you get intimate. On the other hand, if they find ASMR exciting, you can use it to arouse them before sex. Not everyone loves ASMR. Those who don’t respond to it may find it neutral, but some people are oversensitive. They may feel the tingles are too intense and unpleasant.
Watch the Pros
If you both aren’t sure whether you respond to ASMR, you can watch some videos on the Internet, whether they are plain ASMR or porn. Even if you don’t get the tingles, you may enjoy the sounds as a break from the focus on visuals since it is an often-overlooked sense. To take this a step further, blindfold your partner. Taking another sense out of the equation will heighten the aural, intensifying the ASMR experience.
ASMR can give you a full-body turn-on and shake you out of your sexual routine. But it’s beneficial for your sex life in other ways, too. Trying something new together is a bonding experience that can rekindle desire and enrich your overall sexual gratification. And it’s a good reminder that all our senses deserve attention during sex.
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Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.