Porn addiction is an excessive and uncontrollable appetite for pornography, with or without masturbation, that negatively impacts one’s qualify of life. It is a form of process addiction, similar to addictions to gambling, food, and the Internet. Such addictions often serve as an escape from one’s painful experiences, both internal and external. If goes untreated, it can destroy relationships and ruin the lives of individuals and their families.

As a psychologist practicing from a sex-positive perspective, in my practice in Torrance, I hear lots of misconceptions of pornography addiction. It is important to emphasize that not everyone who watches pornography struggles with porn addiction. According to Dr. Hald, in an international sample, 50 to 99 percent of men and 30 to 68 percent of women reported viewing pornography regularly. 28,258 individuals are watching porn online every second. Only 17% of those who view pornography online meet the criteria for porn addiction.

I have seen many couples and individuals use pornography as a tool to enhance their sexual lives and explore their various interests in a safe environment. One of my clients likened his infrequent viewing of pornography to an artist browsing books at a bookstore to get various ideas that would fuel his creativity. He watched pornography on average once every two weeks, and this behavior did not get in a way of having a meaningful relationship with his partner or other daily activities.

However, recent studies have demonstrated that many who view pornography report less satisfaction from their marriages or relationships. Additionally, for many of my clients, pornography plays an important role in setting unrealistic expectations from their sexual partners, which drastically reduces the quality of their relationships.

Although the possible benefits and harms of viewing pornography are debatable, the concept of pornography addiction is not defined by a religious or moral stance. This idea highlights the experience of losing control followed by intense guilt and shame.

Signs of a Pornography Addiction

There are some behaviors and emotions that indicate a pathological relationship with pornography. These are few of the signs and behaviors that I’ve witnessed, working with my clients who are struggling with pornography addiction:

• Frequently spending more money on various websites and viewing longer than intended
• Previous unsuccessful attempts to cut down on hours spent watching porn
• Daily preoccupation with sexual acts related to pornography
• Continued compulsive viewing despite negative consequences (getting caught watching porn at work, sexual dysfunction due to excessive masturbation, etc.)
• Limiting social interactions and relationships due to the obsession of viewing pornography
• Restlessness and irritation if unable to watch porn

In order to assess your relationship with pornography, it is important to create an objective list of consequences that viewing pornography has in various aspects of your life. Many of my clients suffering from pornography addiction initially struggle with making down this list, although later on they learn about the several emotional, physical, and spiritual consequences of their addiction.

Since addiction is a disease of denial, if you find yourself struggling with creating an objective list, it may be helpful to talk to someone that you trust and ask for their input on pornography’s consequences in your life. It is normal to want to hide behind excuses and this is even rational, not to have to face the guilt and shame associated with examining a pathological relationship. However, accepting that you have a problem will help you to look for an effective solution that can drastically alter your quality of life.