As we age, sexual dysfunction becomes more likely and more common. If your erection isn’t what it used to be, below are some tips on having good sex anyway.
Defining Dysfunction
Having a few sexual experiences that don’t go as planned is normal, and it can be difficult to pinpoint whether what you’re experiencing qualifies as dysfunction. Science has something to say about premature ejaculation. The most often used definition of premature ejaculation is the inability to last more than ninety seconds. However, if you last for two minutes, you may still feel like you’d prefer to keep going. There are many ways to take your sex life back in either case, and the first step is determining the cause.
Potential Causes of Dysfunction
There is a constellation of factors that cause sexual dysfunction. Premature ejaculation is often physiological, not psychological. It’s not the sign of a lack of control; it can be a biological condition, like prostatitis, low testosterone, or a change in serotonin levels. That’s excluding the more universal experiences of injury, illness, surgery, and exhaustion, which can all impact your erectile health. These are unforeseen, sometimes completely unpreventable conditions. Yet, culturally, we heap shame on people who can’t perform in bed. Instead of understanding that, no matter the condition, it takes bravery and optimism to get help, premature ejaculation and ED are stigmatized.
Since there are multiple causes of sexual dysfunction, sometimes you may have more than one contributing to your struggle. Having a temporary medical issue that induced a few bouts of early ejaculation could contribute to the development of anxiety that you didn’t have before, that lingers far longer than the medical issue. Performance anxiety is pernicious and could be what has you off your game.
Don’t Postpone Checkups
Sometimes, sexual dysfunction is the first warning your body gives you of other conditions. Getting a full, physical workup yearly is crucial to head off more serious illnesses, and it’s also beneficial because your doctor may have new ideas for treatment for forms of sexual dysfunction.
If you don’t want to jump right to a prescription, there are natural techniques for relieving sexual dysfunction and erectile difficulties, too. Don’t miss these science-backed tips in my video:
Talk to Your Partner
Some people are so anxious about their erectile changes, whether it’s premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction, they may not mention it to their partners. When you hide behind a shroud of secrecy, it damages your perception of your performance, too. The stigma may build up in your head, and when you don’t talk about it, there’s no one to provide a reality check about how severe the issue is.
The truth is that you don’t need to last a certain length of time to please your partner, especially if your partner has a vulva. Often, oral sex is at least as pleasurable as penetration. Talk to your partner about other activities you can engage in if your erection isn’t complying. Having a backup plan can help take the pressure off, and it can save you from an awkward in-the-moment conversation. Keeping a vibrator or other sex toy near the bed can be a fun way to finish your partner off without the pressure to keep your erection strong.
Forging a Path Forward
When premature ejaculation happens to someone, the knee-jerk reaction is to tune out of sex: to think about baseball or use a numbing cream. Numbing creams can sometimes cause you not to feel pain, rub off on your partner, or reduce the overall pleasure you experience, so it’s important to choose one that’s safe for your body and doesn’t detract from the sex. But the best way to begin is to address the issue head-on in a conversation and implement a backup plan. Discuss whether your partner might enjoy a back massage or oral sex if you come more quickly than you’d like.
Talking about how long the ideal play session would last for both of you is helpful, too. If you last ten minutes, that might be exactly what your partner wants. Lasting longer may not serve either of you, but you won’t know until you have a candid conversation.
After you have a few positive experiences without your erection’s participation, you’ll develop sexual confidence that doesn’t rely on your penis. This confidence will permeate the rest of your sex life, and neither of you will feel like you only have one path to pleasure. Keeping your options open helps you set yourself up for hot sex long-term because you’ll acquire the mental flexibility to change what you’re doing if it’s not working.
Consult an Expert
You’re not alone in your search for a long-term solution to sexual dysfunction. But the search goes more quickly with a professional by your side. Contact me for a free consultation today.