Shower sex is something many people find to be better in theory than in practice. But if you understand the correct techniques, you can find more pleasure in the bathroom. Shower sex can be a sensory delight, but not if one of you is cold the whole time or your arm fell asleep twenty minutes ago. As with most anything, shower sex improves with intentionality and forethought. Perfecting shower sex is easier when you incorporate the tips below.
Shower Sex: A Lesson in Mindfulness
Why are some people diehard fans of shower sex? Well, it’s an all-encompassing physical delight that uses all five senses. You’ll feel the hot water and steam, smell the aroma of soap, hear the relaxing sounds of the water droplets, see your partner’s naked body, and perhaps even taste their body. It’s much easier to be present in the moment when all five senses are occupied, which is exactly what happens when you get steamy in the shower.
Further, it gets you out of the bedroom which means you are changing your routine. You can’t do it in missionary, so the position will change just like the scenery. Try washing each other as a new form of foreplay or start with a sensual massage for a relaxing experience from start to finish. Another option is to have a long, lingering make-out session. Find out how this can rekindle your passion in my YouTube video:
Shower Sex Positions and Safety
Finding a comfortable sex position for shower sex is key. Kneeling is a great place to start, and you and your partner can decide who gets to receive oral sex first. Standing is also an option, depending on the size of your shower. If you stand, face the same direction for the spooning position so that you each can steady yourself with your hands against the shower wall. This position is great for trying anal sex, as well. Installing grab bars can help you feel more secure and decrease the risk of a fall or injury. A shower mat can also keep you a bit steadier on your feet.
If your shower head is removable, you can spray water on your partner’s genitals to stimulate them. This feels especially good on the clitoris or anus, but be careful that you use a moderate temperature, as heat and cold temperatures will feel more extreme on these body parts. Only do this in a home shower, where you know how clean your shower head is. It’s riskier at hotels where it might not have been recently sterilized and may be harboring bacteria from other guests.
Talking to Your Partner
You’ll have to agree on a few things with your partner before beginning. The first thing is how acrobatic you want to be. Do you want to be as comfortable as possible or as wild as possible? It’s a good idea to mention any injuries or areas of concern so you can agree on something safe. Next is the water temperature. If you like your showers scorching and your partner prefers them cool, one of you will be uncomfortable.
Adding in Some Extras
Don’t forget that water isn’t a replacement for lube! Grab some silicone lubricant (if you’re not using silicone toys), as that has a better shot at staying in place during shower sex. Don’t use soap, as that can cause a UTI and be quite uncomfortable. If you use a toy, ensure it’s waterproof before bringing it into the shower. Toys that are fiddly, hard to use, or extra slippery when wet might not be the best choice for shower sex.
Addressing Sensory Issues
Shower sex can also be helpful for people with sensory processing issues. The white noise of the water may be a calming sound and prevent sensory overstimulation. Talk to your partner about what situations bring them out of their turn-on and whether shower sex can help them stay in the moment.
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Bio: Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. She works with various individuals to understand and improve their sexuality. Dr. Moali conducts personal consultation sessions in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices, or via a secure, online video-counseling platform. Click here to take the sex quiz for women.