Many different things can make you feel stuck in a pattern of early ejaculation. Tantric theory suggests that you can look inward to tap into your sexual energy, which is one of many ways you can help you control your ejaculation. Below are all-natural steps to lasting longer in bed.
The Mind-Body Connection
Sometimes, people try to compartmentalize sex, separating it from their daily life. This is a common occurrence among new parents, whose life demands can make them feel at an all-time sexual low. Yet, forging a mind-body connection can help you be present to your desire all the time. You can’t intentionally turn off desire and then expect it to come rushing back when you have a free moment. It takes cultivation, like a plant.
Tuning your body out can make you overlook pain signals, forget lunch, or exercise to the point of injury. Tuning into your body can help you create a lasting mind-body connection, and in the process, heat up your libido. Further, when your mind and body are connected, your body becomes more predictable, making it easier to control your ejaculation speed, improve desire, and strive toward simultaneous orgasm.
Breathwork is the perfect approach for restoring your mind-body connection. Breathing deeply into each part of your body can help you stop numbing out and start feeling sensations. Feeling the sensations can make sex more pleasurable, heightening your ability to notice sounds, smells, tastes, and touches that turn you on.
Ejaculation Control
Tuning into your body can give you more control over when you ejaculate. If you are climaxing earlier than you’d like, it may seem like the answer is to numb out or think about something unsexy during sex. But the opposite is often more effective: feeling every sensation puts you more in touch with your body. The slower you go, the more you get to enjoy the process—and your partner does, too.
For more ejaculation control, practice during self-pleasure. While you’re masturbating, bring yourself to the brink and then step back before you reach the point of no return. This method is called edging, and it can help you last longer in bed and have a more explosive orgasm. However, it takes dedication and consistency.
Some sex toys have features that allow you to time yourself, making it easy to condition yourself for longer playtimes with your partner. But you can go through this process solo, too. See how long it takes you to get close to orgasm and then back off. Then start masturbating again. Try to create longer and longer sessions before you climax; the process will be easier with hard data in front of you. I highly recommend the FirmTech Rings for anyone who wants to experience consistent erections and delayed ejaculation:
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Slowing Down
Taking breaks to calm down your excitement is crucial, but you may wonder how to accomplish this with a partner, especially if you have penis-in-vagina sex. If you stop to take a break, the fun stops for your partner too, but that doesn’t mean you have to eliminate the pleasure. To build up stamina, practice switching activities. If you’re too close during penetration, take a minute and go down on your partner, use a sex toy with them, or give them an erotic massage. Many vulva owners will appreciate the extra attention, and this can keep them turned on and engaged, even during a break from penetration. Women often take longer to get turned on, and a majority can’t orgasm from penetration alone, so learning other techniques for pleasure is doubly worthwhile.
Working Through Anxiety
Feeling like your orgasm is out of your control is frustrating and anxiety-inducing. But progress is possible, and it’s important to shift your framework to learning a new skill. Your sexual savvy isn’t something you’re born with; it’s something you develop.
If penetration makes you feel nervous, put it on the back burner for a while. Talk to your partner about connecting in other ways, like with an erotic massage or by mapping areas of pleasure. When you can safely have sexual touch without feeling pressured to engage in penetration, it takes the pressure off and can help you feel less anxious about the endeavor.
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