On this episode of the Sexology Podcast I talk about marriages where sex is not a priority. A sexless marriage is when a couple has sex fewer than 10 times per year. A listener wrote in asking about what to do because his wife didn’t seem interested in sex. He expressed a great deal of frustration.
It’s important to note sex is a form of attachment. A lack of sex can create a sense of detachment. It’s really important to address this issue if this is something you are experiencing. Unless you make serious effort, your sex life will die off over time, especially in long-term marriages.
I always recommend scheduling sex. This may sound annoying, not spontaneous, or not that sexy. I want to remind you that scheduled sex is better than no sex. Scheduling intimate time can be a good start.
It’s also important to introduce novelty into the relationship. People in marriages and long-term relationships can feel like they are having left over sex. I often see people wait 3 or 4 years to go into therapy. This can then make it harder to revive the sexual part of the relationship because there are more layers there. If you are experiencing issues, seek out a professional.
- What is a sexless marriage?
- Processing emotions around sexual challenges
- Look at potential contributions you can make
- Debunking the myth of happily ever after in marriage
- The importance of intentional communication
- How willingness is a key component
- Introducing novelty in a relationship
- How to navigate sexual boredom
About Dr. Nazanin Moali
Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist, sex expert, sexologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. Dr. Moali has helped couples and individuals overcome sexual concerns, including pornography addiction. Dr. Moali hosts confidential consultation sessions for clients and potential clients in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices. You can also book a session with her online, via a secure video-counseling platform.
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