(310) 600-9912 drmoali@oasis2care.com

Welcome to episode 10 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Emily Nagoski. In this episode, Emily talks about the dual control model and how sex works in the brain, how attachment with our partners affects our sex life and the societal factors that affect women’s sexuality.

Emily is the author of the New York Times bestseller, COME AS YOU ARE: The surprising new science that will transform your sex life (Simon & Schuster, 2015). She has a Ph.D. in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a Master’s degree (also from IU) in Counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She also has a B.A. in Psychology, with minors in cognitive science and philosophy, from the University of Delaware. While at IU, Emily worked as an educator and docent at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex Gender and Reproduction. She also taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex education.

Emily is also the author of three guides for Ian Kerner’s GoodInBed.com: The Good in Bed Guide to Orally Pleasuring a Man, The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms, and A Scientific Guide to Successful Relationships, as well as both author and narrator of Come as You Are.

A sex nerd among sex nerds, Emily has the lowest Erdős number of any sex educator in the world. She lives in western Massachusetts with two dogs, two cats, and a cartoonist. She’s funnier in real life (and hardly ever speaks in the third person).

In this episode, you will hear:


  • The dual control model and how sex works in the brain
  • The concept of brakes and accelerators
  • Sexual relevancy and the importance of context
  • How it’s easier to change our external environments rather than internal
  • Figuring out how to turn of the things that are hitting our sexual brakes
  • Eating disorders; the struggle with self-image
  • How the shame around body shape and size is more harmful than the fat itself
  • Learning to love your partner as their body naturally changes
  • How attachment with our partners affects our sex life
  • Why your brain thinks sex is more exciting at the start of a new relationship
  • Learning to be close with your partner whilst still sexually attracted
  • Societal factors that affect women’s sexuality
  • The taboo of women who love sex, e.g being called a slut
  • Why we shouldn’t live up societies standards for our sexual accelerators and brakes





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