On this episode of the Sexology podcast we will explore one of my favorite topics as we talk about how to feel good in your body in bed and how to love your naked self.
I see many of my clients who struggle with body image and how that impacts sexual relationships. In this episode I talk about how common body image blocks are and specific tools you can use to start improving your relationship with your body. What people find sexy and desirable varies greatly. Many people try to change their body to something different while missing out on what their current body has to offer.
As an activity, I want you to think about your life and how it would be different if you didn’t have body-image issues. What would your sex life look like? What positions would you try? What kinds of things would you do differently. Write in your journal in detail about what it would be like to not have body shame or body image issues. What is it that you truly desire sexually?
The second activity I want you to do is to think of these stories as just thoughts. We are not our thoughts. If you are buying into the stories your brain tells you, you can get very stuck. It’s also important to not focus on the past.
The next exercise I recommend is a mirror exercise. If you have shame around the shape of your genital, this will be very helpful. Many women don’t like the look and shape of their genital and don’t even want to look at. I want you to grab a mirror and safe space. Get curious and look at the anatomy of it and explore. Next focus on sensation. How does it feel to touch different parts and areas?
Another helpful exercise can be to write a letter to the part of you that you find undesirable. Describe your feelings about this feature. The second part of the letter is writing what you think the part would say back to you. It may sound cheesy but can be very profound to see things in a different light. You can also buy sexy lingerie to help you feel sexy and confident. Purchase one item that makes you feel sexy and truly good about yourself.
- Desirable body types and traits
- Changing the story you’re telling yourself about your body
- Idolized thinness for women
- Pressure on men
- Creating a different relationship with your thoughts
- Getting comfortable being nude
- Creating a culture of body love
About Dr. Nazanin Moali
Dr. Nazanin Moali is a clinical psychologist, sex expert, sexologist and sex therapist in the Los Angeles area. Dr. Moali has helped couples and individuals overcome sexual concerns, including pornography addiction. Dr. Moali hosts confidential consultation sessions for clients and potential clients in her Torrance and Hermosa Beach offices. You can also book a session with her online, via a secure video-counseling platform.
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