Making Sex Feel New in a Long-Term Relationship
As a sex therapist, I see themes of issues that affect everyone’s sex lives in different ways. Some of the advice I give frequently is to clients who repeatedly ask what they can do to reconnect sexually in their long-term relationship. Below, I’ve compiled my top...
Feeling Sexy in the Body You Have
People who experience body dissatisfaction often suffer from sexual dissatisfaction, as well. The overlap is caused by many things. Sometimes it’s caused by a sexually traumatic experience, but often it’s purely shame. Our culture’s narrow and inflexible view of...
I’ve Gained Some Weight…What Should I Do?
We are constantly inundated with messages that tell us that unintentional weight gain is bad and unwanted. Think about the many times you were “warned” about the side effects of a medication. For instance, some of the side effects of a certain antidepressant include...
Creative Ways to Make Sex Last Longer AND More Enjoyable
Men with erectile problems are often concerned with making sex last longer, imagining that this will lead to more pleasure for their female partners. It is wonderful when a man cares so deeply about his partner’s pleasure. At the same time, the length of sex is only...
I Have an Eating Disorder – Will My Child Have One, Too?
If you’re a parent with a history of an eating disorder, you may struggle with fear that your child will also develop an unhealthy relationship with food and their body. Eating disorders do have a genetic component; thus, a child whose parent has a history of an...
Thinking Back: Your Earliest Sexual Thoughts and Memories
Have you ever heard that masturbation will cause hairy palms? (Spoiler alert: it won’t!) Most of us have grown up in societies and cultures that predominantly shame sex, except, perhaps for explicit “baby making.” This means the vast majority of us have faced shame...
Eating Disorder Prevention
Can you prevent an eating disorder? Many of my clients in recovery (and their parents) often ask themselves what they could have done differently to bypass the eating disorder path. While certain medical concerns have clear preventative measures (i.e. practicing safe...
Overwhelmed by Sexual Shame? There’s a Way Out!
Shame is a very isolating emotion, which is ironic when it comes to sex - because SO MANY of us feel all alone in our shame. It is an overwhelming sense of shame that keeps many of us from being honest, open and authentic with the people we care for most. For some,...
Is Obesity an Eating Disorder?
As a budding eating disorders therapist, I am always excited to see that other mental health providers offer treatment for disordered eating and body image concerns. Recently, I have noticed that some mental health clinicians will advertise that they treat obesity or...
Keeping Sex Sexy While Dealing With Fertility Challenges
Many adults spend a good portion of their sex lives trying to prevent pregnancy, so when couples decide to take the next step into parenthood, it can be frustrating and disappointing to get a negative test for months on end. Far too often, sex that was once for fun,...
Birthdays and Eating Disorders
Imagine that today is your birthday. The common expectation is that you will be experiencing feelings of excitement and anticipation as you take part in special plans with your loved ones, or do something new and spontaneous to acknowledge the day. The goal is to...
How to Ask for What You Want in Bed
Effective Sexual Communication for Partners One of the key indicators for lifelong sexual satisfaction is the ability to give and receive candid sexual feedback. For many people who grew up with a shame-tinted view of sex, asking for what they want is uncomfortable....
ARFID: Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder
What is ARFID? One of the less well-known eating/feeding disorders is Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, or ARFID. While this diagnosis was previously called “Selective Eating Disorder,” the former name could be misleading, as an ARFID diagnosis goes beyond...
Navigating Difficult Sexual Conversations
Talking about sex can be intimidating, even when you’re discussing the lighter side like favorite positions or fantasies you’d like to share with your partner. However, when tough topics surface, the situation becomes even trickier. Difficult sexual conversations can...
Eating Disorders and Cognitive Distortions
One of the more recognized features of eating disorders and body dysmorphia is the individual’s inability to view themselves accurately. For instance, someone with anorexia may perceive their body to be much heavier or wider than it actually is, and an individual with...
Three Keys to Maintaining Passion in a Long Term Relationship
A popular inquiry I get from many of my clients is “how to keep passion alive in a long-term relationship.” Dr. Cheryl Fraser is emphatic that it can be done. She points out that even though it is possible, the majority of long-term couples don’t do a good job of...
Dating and Body Image
The process of dating can bring up feelings of excitement and adventure, but on the downside can also trigger one’s insecurities. For someone who deals with negative body image or body dissatisfaction, the idea or actual process or dating someone, whether in pursuit...
The Three C’s to Pleasing Your Lover
Everyone wants to please their lover; however, there can be a number of barriers in place that make it difficult. These barriers may include a lack of experience, either with sex, in general, or with a new partner. Often, one’s upbringing can lead to sexual...
Medical Conditions and Body Image
Living in a society that focuses on body image is a challenge and can take a toll on an individual’s self-esteem. Now, imagine, that you are living with a chronic illness, disability, or other medical condition. Due to the pathophysiology of the condition itself,...
After the Fact: How to Tell Your Partner That You Cheated
We're naturally used to feeling empathy for those who have been cheated on. But if you're the one who cheated, let's be real – telling your partner may be one of the hardest conversations you ever attempt. Here we're going to suspend judgment and finger pointing,...